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To homemake or not to homemake, that is the question.
This is something that I battled with for a really long time. I was always taught that in order to be happy I needed to get a degree that would allow me to get a high paying job and then I would work the rest of my life.
Let me just be clear. There is certainly nothing wrong with going to school or getting a degree.
What I do have an issue with is people feeling like they have to do what others want them to do INSTEAD of doing what brings them joy. Such as being a homemaker.
Homemaking is something commonly portrayed as a lazy woman that “stays at home”. Maybe instead of housework she goes to get her nails done or she spends all of her spouses money. She avoids duties by going out for lunch with her friends, or she watches TV all day. Better yet, she sends her kids to daycare while she stays home.
That is not the type of “homemaking” I’m talking about.
The type of homemaking I’m referring to is the old school type. The women that are superhuman but don’t seem to break a sweat. Those amazing moms that are at every awards assembly, providing home cooked meals, a tidy home and keep the home filled with love and joy. That’s the type of homemaking that I’m referring to.
So ask yourself a these few questions, and answer them seriously…
1. What makes you want to be a homemaker?
This was a no brainer for me. I love being at home, I love all the things that come with being at home. I enjoy the cooking and the cleaning so it felt like a natural path for me.
Also, with my husband being in the military we are constantly moving and I would be starting a new job every few years. And those types of jobs would always be entry level. Not cool.
We also always wanted a family and we knew that eventually it would mean me being at home to raise our children. Financially, this made the most sense because daycare alone would cost everything that my income would make. So why not just stay at home and give my babies all the love and care all the time?
2. What does homemaking mean to you?
Homemaking I truly believe has a different meaning to each and every one of us.
For me, it simply means that I care for my family in acts of service. It’s the most rewarding thing I know. Being a homemaker brings me joy because I love baking treats for my family or having fresh linens on the bed when my parents come to stay.
It’s all about the little things.
Homemaking is taking everyday mundane tasks and making them feel like so much more. Allowing everyone who enters my home to feel like they’re a part of it, and that they would rather stay than leave.
3. What does your partner have to say about it?
Homemaking may be a dream of yours but your partner needs to be on board.
This one is pretty self explanitory. In my case, this was a dream that my husband and I both had so it just was a natural path.
Be sure to discuss all options with your partner. Maybe being a full time homemaker isn’t in the cards for you. However, maybe your family needs balance. By getting a part time job you can have the financial security and the homemaking feels that you’re looking for.
4. Are you a self starter OR at least willing to stay productive when you don’t feel like it?
This is a tough question to swallow.
You really have to be honest with yourself because staying at home every day may sound great…but if you’re not a self starter or find that you can tend to be lazy this will end up being more difficult than you would think.
It’s so easy to sit around and watch Netflix and do nothing all day. TRUST ME! I’ve totally had those days. But, it’s when you do that day after day you’ll realize that this might not have been the best idea.
Homemaking is easy to neglect. You can certainly put tasks on the back burner. This in itself is your job. You’ve elected this position…and your partner may not be happy knowing that you’re not doing any of the things you said you would when you took on this new role.
I’m not saying you can’t have a down day, or week…we all get sick. Truly be honest with yourself and know that if you’re not a self starter then you need to ensure that you can pull your weight day after day.
Our household runs 50-50. My husband financially supports us and I ensure that the household tasks are taken care of so he doesn’t have to worry about them. Together we make a great team.
After answering all the questions from above, I’m guessing you have a pretty good idea as to if homemaking is the right fit for you and your family.
I won’t sugar coat it…it’s freaking hard some days, and other days you feel like all you do it cook and clean. But what you have to remember is that you are making life easier and filled with far more love than you realize.
Whether you decided to be a part time homemaker, or take it full time just know that everything that you are doing for your family is beyond important. And every day they are thankful for what you do, whether they say it or not.
You are making a difference and what you do matters.
